sometimes it consumes me.

a little mouse complained to me the other day about the trifecta blogs. it would seem that the general consensus is that it leaves the rest of the blog readers out of the loop. apparently, it isnt the nicest feeling. so, mae and lyndsey, i suppose that it is time that we stop communicating and constantly using inside jokes and other such nonsense in our blogs. i love you both, but really, we should try to think of the other readers.

i bought the new posthumously released elliot smith album last night. it is amazing, but at the same time, so incredibly depressing. i am not sure if i am feeling sad about the whole thing simply because the album really is emotionally numbing, or if it is because i just finished reading the SPIN exclusive on his life, death, and music. what a sad sad life that man lived. i actually sat there reading, feeling a tremendous sorrow for the despair that completely consumed him. so unlike me, i kept thinking, "oh if only he had found jesus." yes, like i said, so unlike me to think something like that.

back to the real issue, this mans talent overwhelms me. seriously, i would rank him right up there with the musical writing abilities of john lennon or bob dylan. in regard to this album, i have to say, it isnt my favorite. dont get me wrong, it is completely amazing and far surpasses the work of most other artists, there is just something about it that seems so not elliot smith. i want to think that it is because some of the tracks were unfinished and the cd was not layed out in the way that he would have wanted at all. it saddens me that his family released this. the people that had some of the most damaging effect on his life, ultimately made all of the decisions. it somehow just seems so wrong to me. regardless of all that, the cd is amazing. for those of you out there, my less musically inclined friends, if you have not looked into the world that is elliot smith, you need to. there is so much that you are missing out on.

i am not sure what exactly to do to correct this whole issue, but it has become far to regularly that i have been missing work. i dont know what the deal is. i had perfect attendence all summer, only missed one day (i was in a wedding.) then the end of august rolled around, my dad told me i wasnt going back to ou and everything fell apart. i barely made it through september, i took the month of october off, and i think that i have missed more work in november than i have gone. this is not good. it just seems that every time something more exciting comes along and rather than sleeping, suddenly it is 1:30 in the morning and i am not home in bed. bad news bears. if i were my dad, i think that i would fire me. granted, this is technically allowed, because i am part time and all. i am completely allowed to set my own schedule, but this is becoming semi ridiculous. hence i am sitting here writing my blog. oh well, such is life. someday, maybe i will learn.