Felony.

I like to sit in the evenings, listen to Iron & Wine, and drink beer. It might be as pleasing as coffee and cigarettes in the morning. They are different.

My friend got arrested for armed robbery. He was once a good kid. When we were in high school, he started doing the drugs. Then he moved out of state and all I heard was that he made a Thanksgiving turkey and stuffed it with shrooms. A little less then a year ago, he moved back. We saw each other here and there, talked a bit. He seemed to always be high and there were rumors that he did lines at work. They say he robbed a liquor store, with a gun. My inclination was to believe them. I was sad, we used to be close, and he was such a great kid. Then I thought, maybe he didn't do it, maybe things just go mixed up. I just don't know.

He works with me now. His court date is in two weeks. So, it could be said we are friends again. Lately, he seems to be clean. I want to believe him. Do I have to decide? I will be his friend either way. Does it make me a bad friend if I remain undecided. Regardless of what I think, I try my best to support him. I want him to be innocent. Jail would be no good for him. I don't know, I am overwhelmed and it is past my bed time.

Is it really bad when someone has a felony on their record?

Today, I was thinking about being taken advantage of because being more skilled than others. There is a part of me that thinks that this makes complete sense, then there is that little bit that thinks it is ridiculous. What do you think?

Joe Schmo is a shitty worker, and when he does do a job, he does a half-ass pish-posh job. You however, take pride in what you do, even if you don't feel too passionate about it. It is all about principle and character, so when you do a job, you do it well. In a perfect world, you make more money than Joe and you get more respect and the better jobs and what not. Instead, in the real world, Joe makes more money than you because he has worked there for forever, and because the boss knows that you are going to do the job better than Joe, he gives you all of the shitty grunt work. Joe gets all the good stuff, the easy stuff.

My dad has been telling me, since I was 3 or 4, that life isn't fair. I wonder if I will ever begin to grasp it, or if I will forever be irritated when it continues to not be fair.

That is the kind of day I had. Plus, the battery on my iPod died at approx. 2:30pm. It was sad.

Personality DNA.

I stole this from Chris. I am a builder and I am benevolent. I also feel that I should note two things: I do see a need to stick to a set routine or schedule. Although, I do enjoy a bit of spontaneity now and again, I am really a mess without routine. Friends seeking my style advice... that is almost laughable.

Chuck's bitch...

Said in an entirely asexual manner... I have been granted a new position at Alcon Tool Co. I am now the personal assistant of Charlie Rankin, co-owner of said company. This is both good and bad. I shall explain.

First, the good. I did not get into Kent State as I had hoped. This in itself is an exasperatingly long and frustrating story, so if you really want to know, we will have to do the phone thing. Thus, being that I will apparently not be attending college until September of 2006, I will be working. Now, you all know that working at the factory has never been pleasant for me. So, I really was quite tickled that my dad offered me this new position. I will be making a bit more money, and I will not be standing in front of the same machine day in and day out.

Now, the potentially good or bad... my dad and I think very much on the same lines. This could either be disastrous or just great. It is possible that I will totally agree with him on all matters and be more than excited to do all of the things that he may ask of me. Or, we will disagree on everything and it will be worse than standing in front of a machine ever was. I really cannot imagine this happening, but anything is possible.

The bad (or, I guess it could be good, but I don't really see that happening). Up until now, no one has ever filled this "personal assistant" position. Basically, he is making it up as he goes along. I foresee this being quite frustrating. My hope is that the kinks will be worked out early, and we can move on to smooth sailing. I start Monday. I will keep you posted.

We make knives. Those kind of knives, up there in the corner.

Trying something new.

Drama bothers me. Somehow, I am quite easily drawn to people who have an underlying drama that is constant in their lives. That is not to say that all of my friends are dramatic people. I go through periods that I must stop associating with this particular group of drama producers (I feel that I should note that I am not referring to you). I wonder how these people live in such states of discontent and unrest, how are they constantly dealing with this crap. All of these thoughts were going through my head and it occurred to me that I am quite a dramatic person, myself. This disturbed me.

So, I thought some more. The disturbance was spurred by two thoughts... 1. The drama of my friends is so often hard for me to take. It seems to push me to this point of emotional exhaustion. Therefore, the thought that I am dramatic really bothered me. 2. I do not like that I feel that I am always dealing with some sort of my own drama. When I am struggling or frustrated or, whatever, it is not something that I want. I really do want to be a happy or at least contented person.

I guess that that is something that I am going to have to work on. The other day, my friend, Jenn, told me that I should try optimism. Then it occurred to me, I am, or at least in the last year, I have been pessimistic about everything in my life. I used to be happy. So, I thought that I would try this optimism on for size and see where it takes me.

Nat'l Geog.

I was reading National Geographic this morning. Then I began to wonder how it got its name. Regardless of that, it really is a great magazine. It had been quite some time since I took the time to enjoy it, but really, quite stimulating.

This particular issue featured an article about genocide. This subject is quite disturbing to me. Generally speaking, I would say that I am better informed about the genocides of the last century then the average American. This, I feel is a shame, because there is so much I don't know. Did you know that because of its genocides, the 20th century is the bloodiest period in human history?

I cannot begin to express how this makes me feel. We say we live in civilization. We are refined and educated. Yet, hatred for mankind has grown to an extremity that has never existed in the past.

The author and holocaust survivor, Elie Wiesel speaks of their being no distinction between the bystanders and the murderers, those who are indifferent are as guilty as the murderers, "How can you be a bystander? We Jews suffered not just from what was inflicted on us by the perpetrators but also by the indifference of our friends. If those of us in the camps had known at the time that our friends were not ignorant, but indifferent, we'd have gone beyond despair."

Mass killings began in Iraq in 1987. Iraq had been fighting Iran for eight years, and as the war was dying down, Saddam Hussein ordered the death of the Kurdish population. A year later, over 100,000 Kurds had been murdered. Around this same time, reports of the mass murders became available to the public eye. However, Reagan's administration and the State Department choose to ignore the truth. Reason being, the United State had backed Iraq in its fight against Iran.

The U.S. government was concerned only with not offending Hussein. Nothing was done. The only response was that of former President, LBJ... He may have been a mass murderer, but at least he was our murderer.

What will our response be? Will we stand idly by and watch, or will we do something? The future can be changed, but what is to be done about the past?

Tell me what. I don't know.

I just sipped a latte that I purchased at approx. 11:30 this morning. Something must have come over me, I don't know what I was thinking, but it was not enjoyable. My brother, Mark, feels that as long as the coffee is less then 36 hours old, it is just fine to drink. I find this quite disgusting. Do you find this disgusting? Occationally, I think that the only reason I find it disturbing is that I used to work for Starbucks and serving coffee more than an hour old is not allowed. Is 36 hours the norm. for coffee consumption? It seems really freakish to me.

Why do musicians who are not French or Spanish feel the need to sing a random song in French or Spanish? At the moment, I cannot think of a Spanish example, but Nada Surf has got that French song going on on "Let It Go." Why?! They are not French, they do not speak French on a daily or even a regular basis. Why do they find it necessary to sing in French on their album? It really is irritating to me. I suppose that it may be for their French listeners, but if that is the case, then why don't they just put that particular song on the albums that they release in France? Suddenly, I have just realized how American I sound. Nevermind, please disregard this. I have throughly annoyed myself. Sorry about that.

Have you read The Poisonwood Bible? Can I get some feedback there? Thanks.

Hello, and thank you for your promt responses. You are all swell. So, here I go...

Guess what... I moved back to my parents' house! It is so much fun, really, I am so overwhelmed with joy that I could pee. Actually, it sucks and I want to go away. Currently, I am in Athens. It is great. Don't you just all love Athens?!

I don't feel that I really have anything relevant to say. Sorry, about that. I have a little bit of hair now, not much mind you, but it is comin' back. Oh, there is something, I tore all of the tendons on the left side of my ankle. Technically, I did what you would call "popped tendons." Basically, I hyperextended and or partially tore them. So, no surgery necessary. That is good. I was rock climbing, I dropped wrong landed on my ankle at a 90 degree angle. It was fun, still is in fact.

I sure do have knack for hurting myself. I think that if this continues, then I will just begin to schedule them into my life plans. Overall, I think that it may be far less stressful this way.

That is all.

are you dere?

Do you still read this? I guess that that was not phrased well... do you still look at this to see if I have written? Give me a comment, let me know. I thought I would give a go at writing again. I seem to be unable to communicate with you in any other way. This method seems like a good alternative.

I am sorry that I am the worst friend ever. Life has been a little bit much for me lately.