There is a fat groundhog living under my chicken coup. Watching him meander around the lawn every morning had really begun to get to me. After much thought and internal struggle, I decided that it was either going to be me or the hog... there isn't room for the both of us. I asked my Dad for the rifle... he will be gone soon.
Yesterday, I came home from school. It was approximately 7pm and there were three of them, and they are all fat! Desperate times call for desperate measures. I see a stake out in the near future. I am sorry if this upsets you, but I don't like them, and I don't like their holes. If they had stayed in the field, that would have been a different story. Making my lawn a haven of groundhogginess is not okay.
If this seems very wrong to you, please, do tell.
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coffee and cigarettes.
6 comments:
Have you so quickly forgotten?!?!
Don't you remember Striker, Little Malcolm X, Sheree de Leffe and (God rest his soul) Punkin'?
Think of their sweet little faces when they're eating strawberries out of your hand...
i never liked those stupid groundhogs. i wanted to shoot them with a paintball gun... remember? and i told you all repeeatedly that you shouldn't feed them.
Why does it bother you that they are there? Why are holes a big deal? You live in the country and little critters in the back yard is one of the perks!
it pains me to agree with Crankin.
a large groundhog has eaten an entire row of green beans -- perhaps the thing i was looking forward to most, after tomatoes.
We saw him this morning. Now that he's offed the beans, he's making his way down the row of peas and must be stopped.
i don't care if you live in my barn, but if you start eating my shit, your ass is grass, little hog.
good news for him, we don't have a gun. maybe i'll contract crankin for a bounty hunt.
once you are responsible for the slaughter of a pig, you become cold-hearted.
side note: it's chicken "coop".
A chicken "coup" is a whole other thing entirely.
PLEASE UPDATE.
love,
your fans.
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