checkin' one off for July

Hello my long lost friends and bloggers. It is lovely to see you again. Here I sit on this lovely Tuesday afternoon... it is too hot outside to work, so I have been sent home. What did I do when I got home, you may wonder, I washed my jeep. Soon, I return to the wastelands to wax it. Until than, I will sip my Gatorade and share with you some of then events of my life.

Work: Yes, I have been doing a lot of this. I have been spending anywhere from 52.5 hours to 66 hours of my week there. It has been far from pleasant, but the bills are being paid, so I will do my best to refrain from complaining. I have primarily been spending my days in the lathe room, but I have had frequent visits to the mill room as well. I have had the pleasure of filing my first ever sexual harrassment charge, and have led my frist campiagn for equal rights towards both men and women in the workplace. It truly has been a great time.

Home: Work on the casa has been steady, unpleasant, smelly, ichy, hot, frustrating, and extremely satisfying. If all goes according to plan, we will in fact be moved into the upper regions of our house before school starts on August 29th.

The fouton and I are no longer friends. Let me tell you, sleeping on one of those fuckers every night for two months is not one's backs idea of a good time. This is most likely further complicated by the fact that I stand for 10 to 12 hours a day. Not good.

The first and second weeks of July brought a massive attack of bugs to the household of Colleen and Erin. This is turn caused Erin to loose her sanity and Colleen to have a stress endused break down. Don't fret, Colleen has handled the situation. The earwigs are gone, and both girls have returned to their normal state.

Last week we got a washer and dryer. It is so exciting! I have become quite the landscaper. Yes, being a home owner is really a good time. Mowing the lawn, pulling up garden beds, spraying for bugs, and fixing broken faucets is really not so much fun. Did I mention that I do all of this in addition to working 6 days a week?

Mental: Honestly, I might be loosing it up in this region. The sleep schedule suffers. The inward reflection times are not what they should be. My social life has gone out the crapper. Amazingly, my attitude remains pretty upbeat on most days. I suppose that I will just keep pushing through the stuff and eventually, the toils will ease up.

I try to find enjoyment in the little things. Erin left yesterday for Mexico. The dog is staying with Bird, so it is just me and Gomez for 3 weeks. I get to go visit Talya in 2 weeks. I got to see Pete Yorn in concert 2 weeks ago. That was dandy. Life is beautiful.

Now, there are Jeeps to be waxed.

big mess.

I fear that I have let things slip. My life has moved into a state of dysfunction that I fear I may not be able to recover from. Sadly, you have suffered from this. I am sorry. I realize that saying that most likely does absolutely nothing in moving towards fixing what I have done, but it is the about the only thing that I am capable of right now.

My house is a shit hole. Yes, I moved, and I am not exagerating, it really is a shit hole. We are squeezed into 3 little rooms, and let me tell you, there is too much stuff to fit into those rooms. I sleep on the porch, that is my room. I have no bed, it is a fouton. Yeah, you know that fouton, the one that Julie Lockwood discarded. I don't know that I can handle it all. I may have a nervous breakdown. I am looking for sympathy here, but I am sure that I am not deserving of it.

Things got so bad, both the Over the Rhine and The Killers concerts were skipped. The Zooma Tour was canceled, so there will be no Ben Harper, Trey, or Gomez on June 22nd. For that, I am sorry. Really, the only good news is that I got the new Coldplay cd a week before it will be released, and let me tell you, it is good. Real good. Oh, and we got our Coldplay tickets too. That is also some positive news.

The time has finally come. I am having surgery on my knee. Things have taken a turn for the worse, and it can no longer be avoided. Next week, I am going to visit Heather in Nashville, then I will be cut upon my return. It should be great fun.

I fear that you all hate me. I am afraid to call. Will you call me, so that I know if you still love me. Because, I don't know that I have the strength to call you on my own.

I am going to change the suspension on a volkswagon with my friend Jon (Jon is hot).

here i am.

Sorry, I got lost. Not really, I knew where I was all along. Things get crazy and I run away. I suppose that it is my way. Apparently, I am not good at dealing with problems.

You should see our computer desk. It is madness. I clean it off, and than it gets cluttered. The plethera of cd's is getting quite out of hand. I mean really, I had to move 2 stacks to get to the keyboard. If you think that I like music... you should see the one I live with. It is beyond comprehension. Rediculous.

I don't know exactly why I feel that I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown, but I fear that it is coming, soon. I have been trying to keep it under control, but it seems to be getting away from me. I have started back at the factory, and this only makes it worse. I mangled my hand the first day back, and I have been trying to mend it since then. I am tired of the cuts, the blood, then constant standing, and having no one to talk to. My friends think that I am crazy. After I get out of work, they can't get me to shut up. I contend that I talk constantly because I have spent all day not talking at all. They don't seem to understand. No one wants to hear about work. Shouldn't friends care about friends? I understand that my work and the talk of it isn't exactly what one would call exciting, but it is a part of my life. I feel all bottled up inside when I can't talk about these things. It really rubs me the wrong way.

That is all.

again...

I suppose that it couldn't be avoided forever. I got another ticket. Yes, a speeding ticket. It had been since January or February of 2003 since my last one. It was long overdue. I was going 80 in a 55. The cop liked me though, so he wrote that I was going 70 in a 55, therefore preventing me from having to go to court. I think that if he had seen my previous speeding record he would not have been quite as gracious. Fortunately, the tickets rolled over when I turned 21. Now, all that I will have to do is keep the numbers down until I turn 25. Somehow, now, that seems incredibly unlikely, and I fear that I have relapsed back into my past speeding/ ticket problem.

It occured to me today that I have to move in 2 weeks. This is not good, and I might start freaking out. I wonder why there is such constant stress. It is not pleasant. Sigh. It is all too much for me.

TI-RED.

Say it just like that, TI-RED. That is what I am... tired. There is no other way to put it. It must be said just like that... excentuating the syllables. I don't know what I am tired of. Maybe it is just the routine. I need something new. Somehow, the routine becomes a sort of rut for me. Regardless of the excitement that it may hold, it becomes monotomous (I must be the worst speller on the planet!).

My last final is tomorrow at 2pm. I will be done for the summer. For that short time, the University of Akron will not be a part of my life. Such a beautiful thing it will be. Something to look forward to in the fall... DARS. That is right, U of A will start using DARS in the fall. My life will have a little piece of OU. Maybe it will make my experience at this school that I seem to hate a little bit better.

The new will start on Wednesday or Thursday. I will go back to the old men. It is not the best thing that I can envision, but it is comfortable. It is something that I know, somehow making me who I am. The old men love me, they take care of me. And in some strange way, working with them keeps me grounded. It keeps me remembering what is important. I suppose that is something that some people never have. So, I will take this good with the bad, and I will value my time there when it lasts. By the end of the summer, I will be TI-RED of it all, and I will be ready to go back to school. I wonder what I shall do when I join the real world, and I don't have these cycles of change to keep me trucking.